My Baby is a Shit Machine
So newborn poo is fickle. Some babies poo once a week. Some a few times a day. According to our pediatrician, anyways.
Our son is a poo-er. He came out poo-ing.
As he was being born (via c-section), this is what we heard:
Doctor- “Ok! We have a baby butt! (He was breech) Oh! And we have poop! Oh …woah….so much poop….holy….he’s still pooping! (Laughter) ….holy shit…well, he has no more poop in him! Aaaaaand we have a baby!!!
I looked at the nurse who gestured with her hands that it was a GIANT poo. We laughed…and then they lifted his grumpy little face over the screen and we forgot about everything else in the world.
And now, 10 days in. He’s an expert shitter. Without fail-he will poo:
These are not small poos.
These are not silent poos.
These are earth shattering, wet, explosive poos that sound like soggy school lunches being poured into a vat.
They are horrifying.
Especially at 3am, when the sleep deprivation is full on, and we are delirious.
And I’m recovering from a c-section.
Laughing is THE WORST.
So every night, I walk the tightrope of giving in to the tear-filled hysterics that fill my heart with joy, and trying as hard as possible to ignore it because laughter sends shooting pain through my abdomen to every part of my being.
I usually give in.
Because laughter is the absolute best.
And I didn’t realize how much we laugh in this house until it was painful.
So in a weird way, I’m grateful for the pain, because it made me see something I had taken for granted.